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I’m reading the new Thor books, even though I’m irritated immediately by everything about them.

The End.

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People are already speculating, in a negative way, about Star Wars VII – based off an 88 second teaser trailer!!

I’ve read such amazing things as:

1 – Ermerghad, a Storm Trooper can’t be black; they are all clones of Ding Dong Fett! My reply; just because a guy is wearing a Storm Trooper costume doesn’t mean he’s a Storm Trooper. You know who else wore a Storm Trooper costume? Luke. Han. I mean, come on.

2 – DERPDY DERP! That lightsaber is ridiculous! Really?? You know the backstory on that lightsaber? Me neither! So, I can’t have an opinion, can I? Nope. Nope I can’t.

Listen, here is the new hope for you. A Star Wars movie where George Lucas isn’t dropping a steamer on the dialogue, plot or your childhood. Even if it’s bad, it’s better. Really – think about it.

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Think about it. A rebel, loner type goes to recover a lost artifact. Confronted in the act, he flees. Action! Adventure!

Many, many scenes have symmetry with the Raiders of the Lost Ark film…

You could go more meta – Marvel is the new Stephen Spielberg. Emotional movies with a dash of humor, leading us on a journey into the unexpected. Action! Adventure!

I hope Marvel doesn’t jump the shark for years to come. This is the golden age for comic book nerds.

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I get irritated by Marvel comics far too often. I’m 41, for Odin’s sake. But, I’m going to get it out there – I read comic books. I enjoy them. Some, I enjoy like you enjoy a good movie. Some I enjoy like you enjoy a train wreck.

Ok, so recent disappointments from Marvel. Original Sin. This could have been really decent. But instead, it was super weird, with a ridiculous ending. I mean, Nick Fury is now some chained weird human Watcher variant? Ug. And, here is a chance to do some cool stuff with the Marvel Universe, but the coolest thing we get an unrevealed secret that makes Thor unworthy of his hammer. The rest of it was shit.

The Death of Wolverine – another ridiculous opportunity thrown away by Marvel. I’m too tired to go on a tirade about it, but…lame.

How about the long ass, never resolving story about Incursions? I mean, what is even happening? I have no idea where this stupid story is going.

So, anyway. I’m not wordy enough to touch on every detail (or lack thereof) that makes these stories so awful. But..they are.

The End.

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I liked that trailer. I’m just saying – it was good, guys. And a Star Wars without Lucas dialogue? It can’t be bad.

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